The first week of my second placement was one of the hardest I did. At the time I wrote this: "I struggled this week. My teaching resorted to too much teacher talk. I was late to a class. I even missed a step in the process I was teaching in year 10 Maths. Things just did not go well. My students were great and very forgiving. There were some good classes but it was a struggle all week. Monday morning I was questioning if I wanted to keep teaching. Over the weekend I realized a few things: my stress came from a number of things- largely from trying to tick too many boxes, in one go. Uni expectations for creative teaching, class control, not letting my mentor down, & not letting my students down.
I really lost confidence in my ability to teach to the level I want to teach. Conversations with my mentors and colleagues helped to keep it in perspective. I took all weekend to really process....I was frustrated with myself for not teaching well."
And the following Wednesday my reflection was "Monday regroup: I had detailed plans for the lessons for Monday, after discussions with my mentors. Well planned and well timed lessons. Both class ran well in that students were working in their books well. Not creative lessons but settling for the students.
Tuesday I felt more confident and more ready to try something new."
With the benefit of hind sight I have learned to be kind to myself. My learners are not as fragile as I think they are in the midst of a lesson going 'pear shaped'. They bounce back, and I can model resilience by bouncing back too. When I apologise and try again, I show my learners that it is ok to make mistakes, and that it is good to try something new even if it doesn't go to plan.
So a tough week was not without it's value.